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Universal Bureau of Fictitious Literature/Entrances
South Pole City Go to the center of South Pole City's business district, Metro, at the 4th Street/W Road intersection. Wait to cross W Road, and swipe your employee's pass across the sign with instructions on when to cross and when not to cross. You will hear a faint beep. Press the "PUSH TO CROSS" button no more or less than 4 times. The beep will sound again, and a nearby manhole will melt away into thin air. Jump into the manhole and you will arrive at the Bureau. Ternville Go to the government district, at the corner of 4th Street and Wayne Drive. The Eastshield Museum of Meteorology is located there. Get inside, and ask the ticket clerk for a "Deluxe Hippenproxy Token". She will ask you to swipe your employee's pass in the credit card slot. A museum pass will come out the cash register, and the clerk will also hand you a blue token. Use the pass to get into the main museum, then head for the elevator. Press the button marked "4" and insert the token into the slot under the elevator buttons. The doors will close, then open again to reveal a large purple portal. Jump into the portal and you will arrive at the Bureau. Eastshield The Eastshieldian entrance to the Bureau is located at Snellville. Go to the SnellBook Library and look in the Conspiracy Theories section. Search for a book titled "I Can Haz Cheeseburgerz: An Illustrated Guide to Memes" (Code Number "XZ-6-Unknown-Ternville#ICANH"). The book is a light blue hardbound. Once you find it, take it off the shelf and open up the front cover. Scan your card over the inside front cover, and a floor panel nearby will melt away into thin air. Jump into it. After falling down a twenty-foot deep hole, you will land on a mattress next to a portal. Go into the portal and you will arrive at the Bureau. Trans-Antarctica The Trans-Antarctican entrance to the Bureau is located at GourdZoid. Go to the vegetable patch. You will find a scarecrow. Wave at him and say the password, "The cake is a lie!" The scarecrow will extend his flipper. Give him your employee's pass, then stand next to him. The patch of ground you and the scarecrow are on will sink into the ground, eventually arriving at the Bureau. The scarecrow will have vanished. In his place is a large vending machine. Your employee's pass will be sticking out of it. Retrieve it before you do your business at the Bureau. Antarctic Peninsula The Peninsulan entrance to the Bureau is located in Shiverpool. Go to the Mackerel Counting Station and look for an automatic weighing scale (they look a bit like ATMs, except that they have a dish sticking from their middle) labeled "4W". When you find the scale, insert your employee's pass into the slot at the base. The scale will slide back, revealing a small hole in the ground. Jump into this hole and you will arrive at the Bureau. Once you arrive, you will need to retrieve your employee's pass from the vending machines next to the entrance platform for the GourdZoid entrance (see above). Weddell The Weddell entrance to the Bureau is located at Turtle Atoll. Go to the western edge of the Shiny Forest and look for the tallest pine tree in the area. The pine tree has a low branch that curls down to ground level, with a single leaf that is curled up, like an ice cream cone (which is unusual for pine trees because they, being conifers, normally have needles instead of leaves). Insert your employee's pass in the leaf, which will constrict, as if grabbing the pass. The branch will rise up and "present" the pass to the crown of the tree, and a hole in the tree's trunk will open up after a while. Jump into this hole and you will arrive at the Bureau. Once you arrive, you will need to retrieve your employee's pass from the vending machines next to the entrance platform for the GourdZoid entrance. Sub-Antarctic Islands The Sub-Antarctican entrance to the Bureau is located at Club Penguin Island. Go to the Nightclub and look for the speaker to the left of the dance floor. It is opposite the entrance to the Boiler Room. Swipe your employee's pass across the top of the speaker, and it will open up. Climb down the ladder inside, run down the stair steps, and swipe your pass across the steel door you run into. It will open to reveal a portal to the Bureau. Jump in. West Pengolia The West Pengolian entrance to the Bureau (East Pengolians hate the Bureau as does Penghis Khan) is located near Penghis Khan's palace. Look for two rocks that look like the number "4" and the letter "W". You will notice a hairline crack running around these two rocks and a small slot underneath the gap between them. Insert your employee's pass into this slot. The entire rock formation will begin sliding down into the ground. Eventually, it will arrive at the Bureau. The rocks will be replaced by large plastic renditions of the letters "B" and "F", and your pass will still be stuck in the floor. Retrieve it before doing your business at the Bureau. Happyface State The Euphoric entrance to the Bureau is located in Iceland, the capital, and is identical to the South Pole City entrance. Freezeland The Freezelandian entrance to the Bureau of Fiction is located in Frostborough. Go to the National Museum of Freezelandian History. Outside there are two statues of High Penguins on either side of the entrance stairway. Go to either statue and insert your employee's pass into the statue's beak (O_O). The statue will vanish, and in it's place will be a chute going down. Jump into the chute and you will arrive at the Bureau. Once you arrive, you will need to retrieve your employee's pass from the vending machines next to the entrance platform for the GourdZoid entrance (see above). Geek Empire The Geek entrance can be found at the base of the Atlas Support Beam. Look around on the pole until you find what looks like a crack in the structure. Insert your employee's card in that crack. If done correctly, the section of the Beam should opem up and your card should pop out. Step into the door and ride an elevator ten stories down. When it opens, a portal will be in plain sight. Step in it and you will arrive at the Bureau. Yoenah Oddly, the obscurity of Yoenah makes a great entrance to the Bureau. Head to the "Now Entering Yoenah" sign and kick it down, and avoid suspicion from the locals (the sign raises itself up on its own, thanks to hydraulics hidden in its cement foundation). A timer will begin counting from forty-five seconds. Run to the house of the local resident named Sidney, and insert your pass in the satillite dish that picks up his channels. Make sure you are standing right in front of the card slot, because the trap door that springs open remains open for two seconds. If you fail, you have to start over. Charles' Key Since Benny is (unfortunately) a Bureau member, he requested an entrance here. Rush to the Cafeteria of Choas, ask for Chef Ax, and order an extra large order of chicken noodle soup (with a soda on the side). Take the dish and run (avoiding Chef in the process) to the Pier of Humiliation. Holding the entree in one flipper and the employee's pass in another, quickly aim the shiny side of the card at Judgement Hall. A special jet ski should drive up. Jump in it, and it will carry you around the Key and to the deep, undeveloped forest. Look for a pine tree the height of a puffle and insert your card into the slot of the metal plaque in front on said tree. The tree (which is fake) should disappear. Dive down the shoot and you will plummet ten stories down and (hopefully) land on a deluxe, plush mattress, unless Explorer has moved it. If you land on the mattress, you'll be unharmed, in a small room the size of a jail cell. If claustrophobia doesn't get to you, run to the portal on the right side of the cell and you will appear in the Bureau. This passage is a Bureau favorite because it's such a challenge, often considered "a little peice of Absolute Thespian Islet". Pengyboo Island Run to Pengyboo Main's famous red puffle pet shop (why doesn't this obscure HQA get more coverage?). At the back of the store, you should see a glass display case with a bag reading "ORGANIC HIGH QUALITY PUFFLE FOOD, DISPLAY ONLY". Insert your card in the slot near the middle of the case. The entire display should slide to the right, revealing a hole, and your pass should be spit back out. Jump in it and fall ten stories to a mattress at the bottom (if Explorer hasn't moved it). Enter the portal nearby and you'll appear at the Bureau. Dorkugal Go to Floor Thirteen (the Jerk HQ) and down to locker number 1337. A Jerk with an ID badge saying "Ashton Cool" should be nearby, wandring around and acting causal. Approach him and show him the pass. If you are not a native Dorkugese penguin, he will hand you a traditional Dorkugese robe, mess up your hair (if you have any) to look more nerdy, and supply you with a pair of nerd glasses (that are actually night-vision goggles). The Jerk, who is actually a Bureau employee, will attempt to keep your intentions secret by screaming to his "homies" that he's going to shove "yet another nerd" into a locker. He will grab you, in the Dorkugese disguise, and input a special code only he knows into the locker. You will be tossed into the locker (which lacks a floor) and fall down a chute and onto an air cushion much like the ones actors use to plunge to safety in stunts. Use the night-glasses to locate the portal (which doesn't glow) and step through it to the Bureau. You'll see another wooden door at the end of the short hallway. Open the door and a flash should go off. You've just been added to the gallery of Bureau Employees Dressed as Dorkugese Nerds. Take off the disguise and deposit it in the bin next to the camera. You're in the Bureau's main hallway now, but people will probably be laughing at you if you're not Dorkugese and/or nerdy. Lichenblossom Go to Redlink Abbey's Beverage Room and look for Tank 4W1337. There is a small control panel next to the tank. Swipe your employee's pass in the control panel slot, then push the red button, pull the green lever, flip the blue and oranges switches, and pull on the pink plunger. You must do this EXACTLY in the order given, or the tank pressure will rise to hazardous levels and bust the pipes open. If you manage to do this correctly, the tank pressure will decrease dramatically and you will hear a flushing sound, indicating that the flow of Cream Soda inside the tank has halted. Open up the small door on the top of the tank. You will see a keypad on the tank floor. Punch in the code "1337", which starts a countdown of 15 seconds. Quickly, get inside the tank and seal the door, then wait for the timer to finish. Once it does, the contents of the tank (you) will be teleported to the Bureau. Gentoo Island Arrive at the PASA Shuttle Launchpad. To the right, near the Mission Control building, there will be a statue of Georgio from Candlewick. Insert your card into one of the statue's pockets, marked with FW, then the statue will slide to the side to reveal a chute. Jump down the chute and you will land in a tank of jelly. Climb out of the tank, dry yourself off with one of the towels on the wall and take the door to the Bureau's main hallway. New Club Penguin There is a secret base called the Minus Levels, which are only used for top secret uses. On Level 0, there will be a tough-looking red penguin. There are many impostors of him. Look for the one wearing the "FW/1337" pin. You will be lead down via elevator to the ground floor. There will be rooms & halls to choose from. If you see a bald penguin, your there. East Pengolia Go to the statue of Bolsheevic Penguinsky by the Fishwow city hall (this is best done at night, for stealth). Climb up and scan the card over the sickle's entire blade. The statue will disappear, and you will fall into a tube underneath. Slide down and you will be on a mattress super-glued onto the floor that Explorer can't move. A nearby portal will take you to the Bureau. Chi Con This is hard. Go to the Surf Hut, and grab the blue and grey surfboard. Surf to an offshore island west of the hut (no boats or swimming), and insert your card, wait 2 seconds, and pull it out. There is a timer counting down to 4 minutes and 19 seconds. Surf back, and a Coldillac with the license plate 4W1337 will appear. Get it, and go to the Petguin jail. Ask the secretary about UBER-Hippenproxy, then show her your card, and she will put keys in front of you. Take the keys on the counter, run in and lock yourself in cell 1337. You will be teleported the entrance of the island again. Shake the tree, and you will be teleported again to the bureau. Nothing Go to Everything, and wait for a binary stream to attach to your back. Go to the electronics store, and get onto the NotLap XL. Open up Terminal, type ssh, and connect to ssh://members.4w.bureauoffiction.gov.aq:1337. Put your card into the PCMIA slot. For the password, type Tacgnol is GNOOOOOOL (six Os). You are now logged in. Type puffacs -el liza. When it loads, type analyze love. The computer now says A strange game. The only winning move is not to play. Type O RLY?, and it will say :|. Type nedm sucks then I am the limecat. The computer will say So I herd u kno ur memes? and will teleport you to the Bureau with the card. You will look either pixely and 2D or have jagged polygons and be 3D. If you are 2D, go to the Department of Images for appearance correction. If you are 3D, go to the Department of Animation, Blender division, for appearance correction. (Don't try to persuade Illustrator Keith -- he'll get scared of your appearance and run off.) Isle of Penguifornia This is avery hard, and complicated one:Go to Los Penguines International Airport, in Los Penguines, go to the MammothAir check in counter Check-In Express Machine, then type your name as Gooby Goobers, then, type your ticket identification number as your identification card. Then, your employee card will pop out of the ticket printer, once you have done this, show your card to a MammothAir check-in worker named Billy Garret, he will then bring you past the security checkpoint to Gate B-5, open the gate door with your employee card, step inside teh jetway, to it's control console, there will be a joystick on the console, push it left, down, up, right, right, left down up, up, down up, and the jetway will reveal a set of stairs to the ground, where there will be a manhole in the tarmac near the jetway's supports,and you must have a safety vest on, so no one will suspect anything, safety vests are located on a pole, beside the lower terminal enterance, there will be a slit in the manhole the size of your identification card, slide your card in. If you are verified, you will hear a friendly beep, and it will open, climb inside, and next thing you know, you'll arrive inside the Bureau. Ed Island This one is located on the river bed of Lake Center. You'll see a dome over a manhole cover (they really like manhole covers, do they?) with the letters BF on it. once you go inside there will be a room with mirrors all over it.look for the one saying THIS IS A MIRROR. If you go farther you will be there. Flystarland This entrance is located in the tallest skyscraper of Flystar City. Go to Elevator 2C and press the button labeled "Emergency Launch". This will launch the elevator out the roof and crashing through a trap-door on the abandoned side of the building. Go out of the elevator, into a dark room, and if you see 2 strong guard penguins, show them your ID card, and go through the passage of hallways. When through the hallways, if you see a penguin with a sign above him saying "The Bureau", then show him your ID card. You will get a DNA scan. When this is over, go through the passageway and you will fall a couple of feet. You will see a curtain. Go through this to reveal a door with a card slide. Slide your card in the card slide and the door opens to reveal another door with another card slide. Keep repeating this until through the doors. After the doors, you will see light through a long passageway. Go through this and you see your there. This is a decoy Bureau, and when you open a door that wasn't there, you go through a long passageway. When you get out of the passageway, you are actually there. This entrance is called "The Long Way" due to the path taking 10 to 15 minutes. Every Bureau member who had to take this path in emergencies hates this path. FG The entrance is located in the national mint. Go to the second floor. Ask the penguin named Dnal Edatsenif (pronounced dih•nahl eh•daht•seh•nihf) at the ticket booth for an über hippenproxy ticket. He will ask you if you know the secret. Tell him about the fourth wall and show him your card. He will grant you access to the entire building for free for the entire day. Go to the twenty-first floor and find pod 7331W4. Get into it. In ten seconds, you will be rocketed to the thirty-ninth floor. You have two minutes to jump into the closest truck. Jump in it and sneak a one orue note. Jump out after that and go to the forty-first floor. Flip the emergency switch. It will ask you to identify the secret item, which is your one orue note. After it was identified, it will disappear and a hidden elevator will open up. Before the elevator closes and takes you to the safety cellar, insert your employee's card between the first and second floor buttons and run out before it closes. Then go into the manager's office which is on the next floor. Go down the manhole. It should be very dark. Just follow the small light. You'll be falling down. In a few seconds, you will appear in BoF. Punch the garbage can that says 4W1337. Jump into it and your card will appear in your hand. You will appear in the same room as before except the garbage can you punched disappeared. MAI and Auzua Mostafique Near the Mershins-Kazooy Dock, swipe the card against a small crack in the wall pillar at the bottom-left of the first bridge hut, and wait until you get sent down. Calada Go to the Metro Torona Convention Centre, and into the Main Auditorium. There are more than 500 seats in the auditorium. Go to Seat 13, Row AAB.Insert your card into a small pocket in the seat in-front of you. A green light flash, therefore, opening a hatch. Climb in. A small elevator, will transport you to the main hall of the BoF. Category:Items Category:Misc. Category:Masters of the Universe Category:Identification Cards